2012 Rental Car Rally LA vs SF

[pdailey]

What the......

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[dan200]

What the......

#sorryforrallying

[fishd00d]

Looks like they got worked last night at the hotel parking lot. Again. Lol

[michael_loomis]

Much love to WeatherDan for staying up all night to help us locate fast routes. I believe we are 1st or 2nd in shortest mileage.

I tried to post in here during the event, but tapatalk wouldn't let me for whatever reason. Fish prob blocked me so I couldn't text and drive. Lol

[TMorford]

I didnt even know you made this thread otherwise I would have updated as well. Such a good time as usual. Im sure one of us will do a "rally report" soon.

[pdailey]

You mean we're not going to get the Dan200 novel like normal? What a jip....

[TMorford]

You mean we're not going to get the Dan200 novel like normal? What a jip....

Dont you worry, it will rival what WeatherDan200 has done in the past.

[fishd00d]

Fish prob blocked me so I couldn't text and drive. Lol

LMAO thats funny!!! I am glad you guys all made it back ok!

[FlyHiFlyLo]

Next time you guys need to let me know and I can have the IROC maiden hauler ready for a 25-30 mile piggyback ride. LOL

[TMorford]

Warning: This is super long and probably not as awesome as Dan200 could have done it, but it’s worth the read if you’ve got 10 or 15 minutes to relive our rally.

A few months ago the dudes from Rental Car Rally announced their annual LA summer rally much to the liking of the usual So Cal rally crowd. It had been almost exactly one year since The Underground last competed at RCR, placing 13th on the LA to Vegas rally in 2011. Needless to say we wanted to better our finish this year. Themes were discussed amongst the crew and we eventually settled on a news story most adept to RCR, the Secret Service getting busted with hookers down in Colombia. We naturally named the team “Not So Secretly Serviced” and made arrangements to have a black Suburban rental a la the usual mode of transportation they use. The only thing different in this rally was that it would pit LA and San Francisco against each other in a rally to the death for ultimate bragging rights.

In the last few weeks leading up to the rally our costumes were finalized, the vehicle was ready, our decorations were awaiting double sided tape and our stickers were fresh off the plotters. However, one thing wasn’t certain. Who exactly would fill out the team? Previously in the Vegas rally, the team was made up of myself, Loomis, Dan200, Philo and Double G Gregg. Also seeing as how hookers would help us get some other teams on our side, Loomis enlisted the help of his girlfriend but we still only had 4 people that were certain they could rally with us. Philo wasn’t able to make it and Dan200 wasn’t sure if his job would allow the time off but unfortunately bowed out after a home issue ate his money. Eventually the team became myself, Loomis, Double G, Loomis’ girlfriend and our friend Jen was added last minute so that we had 5 people. Loomis and I donned suits to act as SS agents, GG a monkey suit and suit to represent our commander in chief, while the girls wore skimpy dresses and heels. The plan was set and it soon became rally day.

Friday, the day the rally would eventually start later that night, GG rounded up the rental Suburban and some supplies while I grabbed some AWESOME laser cut “Underground Not So Secretly Serviced” emblems from Craig Hall. I took off from work a little early, met up with Jen and we headed to GG’s house. The car went together quite quickly in comparison to past years as we didn’t have a 10 foot pirate ship mast to install, just some stickers and emblems. After putting on our “costumes” we headed down the street to the grocery store and promptly spent nearly 200$ on 20 dozen eggs, 10 pounds of flour, 2 gallons of vegetable oil, a stick of lard, you know, the usual supplies you would associate with a car rally along with real supplies like water, energy drinks, and munchies for late night snacking.

In years past the rally started at Irwindale Speedway, but this time the start was changed to a warehouse parking lot in Downtown LA where truckers, hookers and homeless people were the norm. We arrived in style, windows down blasting a police siren and blue/red flashing light to make other ralliers think that the cops might have already been called. Our fearless driver Loomis showed no mercy to our rental, squealing the tires and hopping parking blocks like only an offroad driver can manage to do while avoiding 10 or so other vehicles who had already arrived. We schmoozed with the other teams, many of which are like good friends that we see once a year, and checked in with our rally leaders to take down the mileage and get our box of goodies with the checkpoint list, CD of driving music, and countless other supplies to mess with the other teams.

Normally the rally leaders will wish us good luck and send us on our way with a somewhat official announcement, but this rally was different. There was a team with a conversion van dressed as WWF wrestlers of the past that had their van wide open. Loomis walked over to them, warned them that open doors were an easy target for a flying egg and walked away. He might be able to elaborate on this, but some 10 or so minutes later he made good on his warning and blasted the driver’s side door panel dead center. This was when the rally really started and an egg war broke out, thus unofficially announcing the start. Some of their team walked over with eggs in hand while Loomis and I were still outside the Suburban, knowing that they were going to try and smash an egg on the inside panels. Loomis sneakily dove over GG in the passenger seat to make it inside unscathed, but I soon found myself running from Rowdy Rod Piper and Macho Man Randy Savage in alley ways and pothole ridden streets. Eventually, the WWF guys realized that they were no match for the Underground and I hopped in and our rally began.

Before I start on the checkpoints, I want to thank Dan200 for being our eye in the sky on this rally. When we got our checkpoints, Loomis texted them and within half an hour Dan had found all the checkpoints and made a basic route which he emailed to us with checkpoint to checkpoint directions. WeatherDan200 was without a doubt our 6th team member. I don’t have the checkpoint list in front of me, but this is what I can remember.

Checkpoint 1, Pierce College in LA, find cowboy statues: We drove north from our location and quickly made it to Pierce College midpack. Knowing that we had a huge target on our back, we parked away from the main group of people and walked a little further while also avoiding putting more miles on the ‘burb. We easily found the statues after talking to what we think was a student riding his bike on campus, odd because it was nearly midnight, but we didn’t second guess him. We didn’t see our wrestler friends which was unfortunate because we had two dozen eggs on hand ready to fire. Pictures were snapped and we walked back to our vehicle only to see that it wasn’t as hidden as we may have thought.

Checkpoint 2, find a burned down bus some 10 miles north of the college: The bus was located in what is now a park but was at one point a missile silo. We arrived at the top of a hill which we soon learned wasn’t as small as we thought. Other teams were already there but only a few ralliers around them. Long story short, we took a 2 mile hike that was quite steep but we found the bus in all its rusty glory. Loomis hopped in the driver seat while avoiding Tetanus and we walked back down the hill to find our rental poorly covered with saran wrap and silly string.

Checkpoint 3, abandoned oil refinery in Ventura, find the crane: The next drive was a bit longer than the short jumps we had previously made. Along the way we tossed a few eggs at other ralliers but nothing out of the ordinary. The refinery was almost as rusty as the bus but Loomis and I decided it would be a good idea to climb up the crane itself. About 3/4ths of the way up, the scaffolding got really sketchy so we settled with a picture at our current altitude as it was much higher than other teams. As we reached the ground, security came and we looked for a way around to avoid being ID’d in case the cops showed up.

Checkpoint 4, pancake balls in Solvang: It was nearly 4 AM and we marched on towards Solvang to eat some kind of pancake ball that’s a local specialty. We arrived in Solvang at 5 AM, but the restaurant didn’t open until 6. The RCR head honchos gave us the option of waiting til it was open or finding a windmill and continuing on. Loomis and GG found a windmill while the rest of us got a bit of sleep. We opted to upload the windmill pic as well as eat the pancake balls which were actually pretty good couples with a cold Coke at 6 in the morning. There were several other teams that opted to stay and the group was soon bunched up again. As we all left, an egg war broke out in downtown Solvang much to the dismay and chagrin of the locals. Onward we went!

Checkpoint 5, drive on Pismo Beach, get an ATV/sandrail ride: Seeing as how we all knew a few people in Pismo, Dan posted on his FB looking for some help and soon we contacted Johnny G in Pismo who works for a rail rental company after trying a few other people. Luckily he was awake at 7 AM when I called him but was not working that day. He put in a word with his coworker who would be expecting us. We made it to the sand, promptly removed the eggs we had in the back, and Loomis showed Pismo how Glamis locals do donuts. After driving towards the rental place, we flagged down a Vegas local in his Rhino who was more than happy to help us out with a picture like we were taking it for a spin. He did offer to let me drive it, but obviously he didn’t know who he was dealing with so I declined. Johnny, I think that youre on here so hopefully you read this, thanks for the help!

Checkpoint 6, Paso Robles chapel, talk to a Reagan advisor: from Pismo we cut inland towards Paso Robles through a twisty 1.5 lane road (no joke, there wasn’t a median line at all) in which Loomis rallied the absolute chit out of our SUV in hopes of catching another rallier. The chapel was located on top of a hill and was probably one of the cooler checkpoints we have seen in 3 or 4 RCRs. We were supposed to talk to a former Reagan advisor, but no one was there. It looked like a fancy place for a wedding that was only rented out here and there. Either way the view was awesome and worth the second hike we encountered.

Checkpoint 7, African American settler state park in Bakersfield: We marched inland once again to a state park dedicated to one of the first African American settlements in the area where we would take pictures with farm equipment. The park rangers were completely cool with everything when we arrived, but soon eggs, condiments and raw meat were flying and they didn’t seem as stoked as they once were and asked us to promptly leave. Either way it was probably one of the better egg/car destruction battles we have been involved with.

Checkpoint 8, BBQ joint in an airplane in Tulare: in reading the challenge, we were supposed to eat and finish the RCR special. I feared for the worst thinking it would be something better left for Bizarre Foods but it was actually a sampler of pulled pork, brisket, and chicken with three sides and a drink. Honestly delicious and hit the spot after being up for about 30 hours straight at this point. The kicker was that the eatery was located in an airplane fuselage. Just another random joint we’ve seen in doing 4 of these rallies.

Checkpoint 9, 7 story treehouse in Traver: In actually going to our final destination a few times, I failed to recall seeing a 7 story treehouse off the 99 freeway in my travels. Loomis and I soon learned how this was accomplished. The treehouse was built for kids and our challenge was to go to the top and take a picture which was quite difficult as the stories were maybe 6 feet tall at most, shorter than either Loomis or I. We made it, snapped a picture and on we went. Previously, the checkpoints were right off the road and left no room for shortcoursing to keep our miles down. Instead of taking the 99 to the 168 via the southern end of Fresno, we cut through farmlands and took a twisty mountain road which shaved off 20 miles.

Checkpoint 10, Huntington Lake Marina in Lakeshore CA: We arrived in the town of Shaver Lake and continued up the hill towards Huntington Lake. Along the way our friend was pulled over in his limo with two other rally vehicles, somehow we breezed on through. We later found out the local PD had set up a roadblock and nailed one driver with a 700$ littering ticket which was split amongst all members in the three cars for about $30 a head which they said was totally worth it. Google Maps failed us on a route to the marina and we lost about 15 miles of our saved 20 from the drive up. We arrived to a flurry of eggs from the SF teams who had beat us there as their drive wasn’t as far. We checked in with our mileage and schmoozed with the other teams. GG ruled the flip cup table for at least 18 rounds.

Checkpoint 11, unofficial titty flash egg ambush: We decided to leave earlier than other teams to ensure that we didn’t wait in line at the China Peak Inn that all the teams were staying at. Loomis, in all his mischievous glory, pulled the Suburban over into the woods and we were soon ambushing the teams driving by. Jen stepped it up and was soon flashing other teams her bra to distract them while Loomis, GG and I emerged from the trees in a flurry of eggs. Loomis actually hit someone in the face, which he apologized for, but as they say “sorry for rally rocking”. We knew that we were in the low end of the mileage but had probably pissed off other teams unfamiliar to the ways of RCR to the point of not voting for us. The egg ambush would only help us get more points from the RCR founders.

At the awards ceremony, we were expecting a top 10 finish but we did even better. The SF teams were announced first including worst mileage and top 3. The team from SF that we were hanging with at the flip cup table ended up taking first for SF. A friend of ours got worst mileage for the LA teams and soon after it was announced that “Not So Secretly Serviced” placed third for LA. A husband and wife team decked out a minivan as an ice cream truck and took first for LA. The ultimate rallier would be decided with an LA vs SF flip cup game, which SF won and took control of a gold painted cooler laden with 500$ in singles and coins. All in all, it was an awesome rally and it was learned very quickly the next morning that our fellow ralliers knew who we were as our rental was wrecked with flour, eggs, fish, cat food and the like. We made our way home in the still decked out rental and we already have a game plan for the next RCR.