Lemons Firebird Raceway.

[FlyHiFlyLo]

MISERABLE CRAPHEAPS TO STINK UP SCOTTSDALE AUCTIONS

Scottsdale AZ--The world's largest collector-car auctions, held in Scottsdale AZ on 22-24 January 2010, will be sullied by a simultaneous 24 Hours of LeMons race at nearby Firebird Raceway.

"The Crapcan Alert System has been raised to Threat Level Orange," confirms Dr. R.M. McClure, chair of the Shaughnessy Center for Unsavable Mungbombs (SCUM) in Stockton CA. "All bidders should remain vigilant, take notice of their surroundings, and report any rollcage-equipped Pintos or LeCars immediately."

While bad engines, Bondo, and mystery leaks are no strangers to classic-car auctions, an outbreak of suppurating $500 LeMons piles would set a new low for Scottsdale Auction Weekend. Already troubled by falling prices, lawsuits, and collectors' belated realization that most classic musclecars drive like something assembled by chimps, officials are taking no chances.

"A shift in wind direction could cause the hooptie-fied fug of the LeMons to waft over Scottsdale, depressing prices and possibly sickening thousands," McClure notes. "Worse still, the auctions' usual phalanx of bottom-feeders, who suck up the worst rusty garbage and thus protect regular bidders, may instinctively follow the unsavory odor from Scottsdale to Firebird, leaving the rest of the auction 100% Fright-Pig exposed."

To race in the 24 Hours of LeMons at Firebird, you must sign up online by November 18th. To bid in the Scottsdale Auctions, you must divorce your first wife and get hair plugs by November 12th.

About Scottsdale Auction Weekend
For over 20 years, Scottsdale Auction Weekend has given chunky white guys with Wolfman Jack beards and Tommy Bahama shirts a chance to appear on TV.

About 24 Hours of LeMons
Since 2006, the 24 Hours of LeMons has been racing's top venue for clueless amateurs, pathetic cheapskates, incompetents banned by other series, ne'er-do-wells, and others of questionable judgement and hygiene. Because the above groups are huge, the 2010 LeMons schedule includes 21 races and two anti-concours.

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[FlyHiFlyLo]

Who's in???

[dan200]

Duh??? Kyle and his crew are doing this race also so it will be fun to kick their ass.... Another $20 Kyle? Some Bozo from Colorado has a chip on his shoulder too.

[hyoctane303]

Some Bozo from Colorado has a chip on his shoulder too.

i don't know if we will even have the car started by then, i gotta get a lot of stuff done before then. im saven my cash rite now for Parker/king of the hammers. two of my buddies are trying to qualify. so trying to get my pre runner/ chase truck done too. along with the paying jobs, building a baja bug cage in trade for finishing my Harley


but after July 11 your guna need to know two words Danny boy

[fabtoys]

Pit crew revenge will be there !! might need a driver

[fishd00d]

I am up to drive just let me know details! I am sure Loomis is also.

[GAME OVER?]

If Loomis is down to drive, Fish is down to drive and Dan can come up with some $$$ why not take KITT? I sure we could turn that car around in a week for the 24 hour race if something happens. You guys have some deep pockets with Diddy and Dan on that team !

As for the $20, Game on Dan. I will gladly take your wet nasty stripper dollars again!

I have started the entry process and OFF CONSISTANLTY will be there in force to dominate faces!

[michael_loomis]

I'm sure fish means we will drive both!! Lol

[GAME OVER?]

So you guys are running scottsdale then? sweet.

Dan bring my money! Oh and if your getting a bar to sponsor with a bar tab we will definatly fly stickers. Thats 1/3 of my costs right there!

[michael_loomis]

I need a lift, and a trans Jack!!! Lol

need to get this tranny and torque converter to fly so they can see where they F'd up!