Adoption

[Random Thoughts Racing]

So we have discussed many topics here on RDC but searches for "adoption" yeild only Purple threads on prop 8, pet adoption, and random word usage. Hopefully this thread can yeild something more substantive.

In January of this year the wife and I adopted a 5 year old, through a county, via the foster program. I call her the "turn key kid" and today is her birthday. For those of you closest to me who have let me put her into the drivers seat of your race truck/buggy, I offer a sincere thanks!

So, for what it's worth I started this thread, unsure of what it should or could become for others. Advice, help, frustration, how to, funny stories of folks trying to "see the resemblance", post it here or PM me. Post non political, adoption related things only.


P.S. If you post up something severely political, insulting, etc. here I will regetably provide you with my first ever negative feedback. Just saying, dont be rude here, post it in Purple. Also, this shouldnt be a feedback generating thread, go to WTAR for that.

 

[Mike @ pit b]

My older brother is adopted. Parents got him when he was born. His mother was an illegal immigrant from Mexico but he was born here.
My parents have put up with more of his stupid s*** than any parent should, but they still love him the same.
It was kind of fun being a white kid with a hispanic brother. We would ef with people all the time and some times still do. People don't think we're brothers and I ask them if they couldn't see the resemblance.


"He aint heavy. He's my brother."

 

[DEZERTSUB]

You have my utmost respect Joel. People who adopt kids are a very giving sort, willing to open their hearts and sometimes the most rewarded by their new kids. Think Reggie Bush's father when he got his Heisman trophy.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVFmHHxXCVg"]YouTube - Brad Paisley - He Didn't Have To Be[/ame]

 

[michael_loomis]

Having only met you once Joel, and talked to you a handful of times. It does not surprise me one bit that you would open your heart through adoption. You do it in every aspect in your life that I've seen and read about. I know you didn't start this thread to self promote, but my hats of to you sir!

As far as adoption, I would certainly consider it. I don't have any first hand experiance other than pet adoption. Everyone deserve's a loving, supportive family.

 

[TreyP]

You have my utmost respect Joel. People who adopt kids are a very giving sort, willing to open their hearts and sometimes the most rewarded by their new kids. Think Reggie Bush's father when he got his Heisman trophy.

Sorry to burst your bubble Donny. We have for the last several years been unintended hosts to kids of the foster/adoption scam. The people that adopted these kids did it for money and they have lived off of it for years. They have processed over 20 kids that they have abused and tossed aside when they were not money makers again.

Two are now living at my house, trying to finish High School. We are letting them live here because thier "loving parents" tossed them out when the system didn't pay them anymore. One is Special Ed. and it will be tough for him but I am trying to teach him how to live and make something of himself. The kid is scared to make a decision for himself. I am trying to teach him to be responsible for his actions and it is starting to sink in. He is slow on anything technical but doesn't complain when you give him a job. He will never be above a worker as he just can't fathom what is going on. Fortunataly he has brothers (real) that are willing to help him out when he graduates.

The other has a clear pupose in what he wants and we are supporting him in his goal. He will be with us until December. Then he will join the Marines as his brother(real) did. His brother was a basket case when he lived at our house when he was allowed to. He would not talk to me or look me in face if he did. After he got out of Basic he walked up to me, looked me in the eye and said thank you for helping me. I huged that kid and told him how proud I was of him. We are good friends now.

I could go on how these "great people" that adopt are so wonderful but I have sour attitutde about the ones I know. No disrespect RTR I know there are alot of great people that adopt and and treat the kids with love. I just have a sour look at it in my little corner.

The wife and i have lately been thinking about taking on kids to take them out of this hell that is the system.

This is the short version of it, the stories I could tell would piss everyone off.

 

[DEZERTSUB]

OK, let me be very specific here:

People who adopt kids with the desire to provide a loving home environment for kids who wouldn't have it otherwise, and do it solely for the purpose of wanting to give opportunities and chances to a child they have no obligation to, are among the nicest, loving and outstanding people there are.

Sadly, there are those that have ulterior motives such as financial gain or social status that can do this as well, and those people should be drug out into the street and shot.

Better Trey???

And your story about the Marine is what being a parent, foster or not, is all about.

 

[Random Thoughts Racing]

Sorry to burst your bubble Donny. We have for the last several years been unintended hosts to kids of the foster/adoption scam. The people that adopted these kids did it for money and they have lived off of it for years. They have processed over 20 kids that they have abused and tossed aside when they were not money makers again.

Two are now living at my house, trying to finish High School. We are letting them live here because thier "loving parents" tossed them out when the system didn't pay them anymore. One is Special Ed. and it will be tough for him but I am trying to teach him how to live and make something of himself. The kid is scared to make a decision for himself. I am trying to teach him to be responsible for his actions and it is starting to sink in. He is slow on anything technical but doesn't complain when you give him a job. He will never be above a worker as he just can't fathom what is going on. Fortunataly he has brothers (real) that are willing to help him out when he graduates.

The other has a clear pupose in what he wants and we are supporting him in his goal. He will be with us until December. Then he will join the Marines as his brother(real) did. His brother was a basket case when he lived at our house when he was allowed to. He would not talk to me or look me in face if he did. After he got out of Basic he walked up to me, looked me in the eye and said thank you for helping me. I huged that kid and told him how proud I was of him. We are good friends now.

I could go on how these "great people" that adopt are so wonderful but I have sour attitutde about the ones I know. No disrespect RTR I know there are alot of great people that adopt and and treat the kids with love. I just have a sour look at it in my little corner.

The wife and i have lately been thinking about taking on kids to take them out of this hell that is the system.

This is the short version of it, the stories I could tell would piss everyone off.

This is exactly what the thread is about, the good, the bad, the ugly. Not necessarily ooey gooey bawbetawkiigoogooo. Our adoption was through similar circumstances. Definately work in progress.

 

[Shaggy]

So we have discussed many topics here on RDC but searches for "adoption" yeild only Purple threads on prop 8, pet adoption, and random word usage. Hopefully this thread can yeild something more substantive.

In January of this year the wife and I adopted a 5 year old, through a county, via the foster program. I call her the "turn key kid" and today is her birthday. For those of you closest to me who have let me put her into the drivers seat of your race truck/buggy, I offer a sincere thanks!

So, for what it's worth I started this thread, unsure of what it should or could become for others. Advice, help, frustration, how to, funny stories of folks trying to "see the resemblance", post it here or PM me. Post non political, adoption related things only.


P.S. If you post up something severely political, insulting, etc. here I will regetably provide you with my first ever negative feedback. Just saying, dont be rude here, post it in Purple. Also, this shouldnt be a feedback generating thread, go to WTAR for that.

We're currently in the process right now. Just had our face to face interview today. Fingerprinted for the second time and set to start the classes in August, Funny you started this thread today as I was driving home, I thought about RDC and was going to keep an eye out for anyone that posts up about this.

This is immeasureable task the wife and I are under taking. We tried invitro twice without success. This is the only option. I very much looking forward to this. Girl or Boy. One child or siblings. As soon as I can get away with it, their going off-roading with their daddy.

 

[Shaggy]

Sorry to burst your bubble Donny. We have for the last several years been unintended hosts to kids of the foster/adoption scam. The people that adopted these kids did it for money and they have lived off of it for years. They have processed over 20 kids that they have abused and tossed aside when they were not money makers again.

Two are now living at my house, trying to finish High School. We are letting them live here because thier "loving parents" tossed them out when the system didn't pay them anymore. One is Special Ed. and it will be tough for him but I am trying to teach him how to live and make something of himself. The kid is scared to make a decision for himself. I am trying to teach him to be responsible for his actions and it is starting to sink in. He is slow on anything technical but doesn't complain when you give him a job. He will never be above a worker as he just can't fathom what is going on. Fortunataly he has brothers (real) that are willing to help him out when he graduates.

The other has a clear pupose in what he wants and we are supporting him in his goal. He will be with us until December. Then he will join the Marines as his brother(real) did. His brother was a basket case when he lived at our house when he was allowed to. He would not talk to me or look me in face if he did. After he got out of Basic he walked up to me, looked me in the eye and said thank you for helping me. I huged that kid and told him how proud I was of him. We are good friends now.

I could go on how these "great people" that adopt are so wonderful but I have sour attitutde about the ones I know. No disrespect RTR I know there are alot of great people that adopt and and treat the kids with love. I just have a sour look at it in my little corner.

The wife and i have lately been thinking about taking on kids to take them out of this hell that is the system.

This is the short version of it, the stories I could tell would piss everyone off.

OK, let me be very specific here:

People who adopt kids with the desire to provide a loving home environment for kids who wouldn't have it otherwise, and do it solely for the purpose of wanting to give opportunities and chances to a child they have no obligation to, are among the nicest, loving and outstanding people there are.

Sadly, there are those that have ulterior motives such as financial gain or social status that can do this as well, and those people should be drug out into the street and shot.

Better Trey???

And your story about the Marine is what being a parent, foster or not, is all about.

Both of you are right of those that take adavantage of the system. I've seen it first hand at work as a LEO. Sometimes they get caught and others slide through the cracks.

After what I went through during our interview today, it gave me a good impression that the county is doing it's best to screen people. By no means is it over, we still have alot more steps, home visits, another interview, classes, paperwork and etc.

 

[Ol' Curmudgeon]

Sad to say, but statistics point out that adoptees in the US are much more likely than the general population to end up in a mental institution or prison.

Adoption is one of the few contracts that can be enforced against a minor, and definitely one in which the adoptee has little or no choice.

 

[Random Thoughts Racing]

Sad to say, but statistics point out that adoptees in the US are much more likely than the general population to end up in a mental institution or prison.

Adoption is one of the few contracts that can be enforced against a minor, and definitely one in which the adoptee has little or no choice.

Any more info on this study? Does this include the more common step parent adoptions? It would make sense that the number of (abused or neglected) adoptees going astray would be higher than the general population because the level of trauma in their lives that caused the separation from birth parents in the first place.

Is there a study showing how many adoptees are able to regain stability and thus avoid the institutions and prisions? If say, 70% of adopted abused children grew up and went to prison, were the 30% that didnt worth the effort?

 

[BRINGTHERUCKUS]

YAY!!!!!! ADOPTION!!!!!!!!!!
as few of you know (trent RAWLO Critter and maybe jrad do) I am adopted. My mother couldnt provide the future she thought she deserved so she put me up. My Parent were unable to have kids of there own so they got me. They had to get an early wedding and everything. My birthmothers family is still in Parker (though i dont know any of them) actually my aunt was my 8th grade math teacher (weird) but i have no problem with it, i joke and do everything with it, however im not normal (i hide my dads fake leg as a joke) But adoption is a great thing and i highly recommend it. so good luck i know legal crap can go for awhile, i remember going to court when i was little. Your a great person!

I rarely catch crap from other family members about being adopted (yea it kind of hurts) its mostly cousins that dont understand. Im glad i was adopted.

 

[dezertchick]

Sad to say, but statistics point out that adoptees in the US are much more likely than the general population to end up in a mental institution or prison.

Adoption is one of the few contracts that can be enforced against a minor, and definitely one in which the adoptee has little or no choice.

I just found this thread and it hits home, I am adopted.
I know MANY people who are adopted and are good people.
I also know MANY people who have adopted children.

Not a single one is in jail.

I give a huge hug to people who take children into
their lives and raise them as their own.

For me personally, my parents are my parents. Period.

 

[Ol' Curmudgeon]

I am adopted.

Glad you are one of the lucky ones, Ann! Joel's daughter will be too.

 

[Racbaja]

First off let me say thank you for adopting. It takes a very special person to adopt a child. Adopting is a very scary thing because you never know how the child will adapt once their in your custody. A lot of these kids come from the CPS system and a lot of the mothers did drugs while pregnant wich leads to mental health disorders and adiction problems down the road. Roughly 25 percent of the children I work with are in the system and the road to recovery is a very long one. A lot of the children carry emotional scars from physical and mental abuse. I see a lot of children with severe learning disabilities and conduct issues. I work with a lot of good people who provide Foster Care and I also see the perisites who do it for the money and will send a child back to CPS custody when the child does not meet there standards. The Children I really feel sorry for the adolescents who usually end up in placement with little chance for success.


Ron Plunkett
Plunkett Racing 557

 

[Stimpy]

Without adoption I wouldn't be here. My father was adopted! My grandparents were also foster parents for many many years!

I wish the very best to anyone that takes in a child and shows them the love all children deserve!....Thank You!

 

[JRod]

YAY!!!!!! ADOPTION!!!!!!!!!!
as few of you know (trent RAWLO Critter and maybe jrad do) I am adopted. My mother couldnt provide the future she thought she deserved so she put me up. My Parent were unable to have kids of there own so they got me. They had to get an early wedding and everything. My birthmothers family is still in Parker (though i dont know any of them) actually my aunt was my 8th grade math teacher (weird) but i have no problem with it, i joke and do everything with it, however im not normal (i hide my dads fake leg as a joke) But adoption is a great thing and i highly recommend it. so good luck i know legal crap can go for awhile, i remember going to court when i was little. Your a great person!

I rarely catch crap from other family members about being adopted (yea it kind of hurts) its mostly cousins that dont understand. Im glad i was adopted.

I think I knew it, then forgot it, and then was reminded of it again the other day.

My question is this: HTF do you not "know" your birthmothers family? You live in 'effin Parker!!!

All joking aside, my neighbor and his wife were unable to have kids, so they adopted. Not long after they had a child of their own in the house, the pipes freed up and she was pregnant. Same exact thing happened with my best friend and his wife. They tried for 10 years and could not have kids. They adopted about 5 months after we had our first and it's been awesome to see the love they have given to the little boy that has turned into a nephew (or future son-in-law) to me. Funny enough, I got a call this week that for no explainable reason, the pipes freed up and their pregnant now.

I know there are a lot of 'effed up $ituation$ out there regarding adoption and foster-care, but there truly are some awesome stories as well..... I know I have thought about it as well..... despite the fact that my wife and can have kids - It's an amazing opportunity to be a miracle to a little kid and give them a great home and a great family.

 

[Lance T]

I'm adopted. I was born in San Jose, Costa Rica. I lived in San Ramon and was adopted by a family here in the US. My Mother (Here) was adopted too. In my High School there were about 10 of us that had been adopted from Costa Rica, so it wasn't like I was alone. For me it was a receiving a life that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I plan on doing the same.

I met my birth mother, a brother, and many cousins, uncles, and aunts during a trip to Costa Rica. I also met my caretaker and lawyer. I knew I was adopted...I'm a bit darker that my family. I think it is important for someone to know they are adopted as long as they know they are loved. I know how much work and preparation my parents made to adopt me...the reason why I was born or was put up for adoption isn't important to me.

 

[Ziggy]

Glad you are one of the lucky ones, Ann! Joel's daughter will be too.

I adopted my daughter from the Ukraine and she has been a joy.

 

[Shaggy]

Well we have our state inspection of the house tomorrow and start the parenting classes next Monday. Will finish that in November (just in time for the 1000)