I only have one kid biologically...an 8 year old son, but I have 3 step daughters. I used to listen to women complain about their husbands over the years not doing this or not doing that. So I made it a point to not avoid a couple of activities and my wife still calls me a rockstar for doing it.
First, never shy from changing a diaper, no mater how gross. Suck it up and do it! I hated it, but I changed a ton. In fact my wife did not change a single diaper while in the hospital. I changed so many my dad thought I was crazy, but my wife was happy.
Second, when my son woke during the night I jumped up and changed him and then woke my wife to breast feed him. I would then go back to bed and she would put him back to bed when fed. She still brags on this.
We had a Nap Nanny placed inside his crib and that really helped him sleep well, they are recalled now I guess because some kids died using them, but we didn't have an issue. Of course all kids are different. My son slept great if we swaddled him tight. (might be why we didn't have an issue with the Nap Nanny) Once we figured this out he would sleep through most nights.
I will say once she gets older, consistency is the key. You are your wife need to be on the same page on EVERYTHING! And your daughter needs to know it.