Share your jokes!!!! -- Mature Subject Matter

randy68

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E2C2517C-0C2B-4221-9E39-DDB06A90EC88.jpeg
 

JDDurfey

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One winter a high powered LA attorney took a duck hunting trip to Texas. He wasn't having much success until he pulled of a lucky shot on a distant flying duck. Unfortunately the duck fell over the fence in the neighboring ranch. The attorney didn't think anything about climbing over the fence to retrieve his prize. After a couple minute struggle the city slicker managed to scale the fence and begin looking for his duck. Hearing the gun shot the rancher approached on his horse to inquire what the attorney was doing on his land.

"I shot a duck and it fell on your side of the fence", said the attorney

"If it is on my side of the fence, then it is mine", replied the rancher

"I am a high power attorney from California, if you don't let me get my duck I will sue you into oblivion!" the attorney retorted smugly.

"Here is what we are gonna do", replied the Texas rancher calmly. "We are going to play a game called 3 kicks. We each kick the other person three times and who ever gives up first loses. The winner keeps the duck"

The rancher climbs slowly down from his horse and adjusts his pants revealing his dirty cowboy boots. "I'll go first" said the rancher.

With a quick step toward the attorney the rancher swiftly landed a blow to his groin. As the attorney doubled over in pain the rancher landed another kick, this time to his face nearly ripping his nose off. The attorney landed on his back screaming in pain. The rancher took the opportunity to land his third kick to the city slickers kidney.

The attorney writhed in pain for about 5 minutes and somehow managed to crawl to his feet and began to dust himself off while blood ran from his nose.

"I give up, you can have the duck" announced the seasoned rancher turned his back and climbed back on his horse and rode off.
 

Class10DAN

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a mom looked at he son and daughter in laws baby and said "sorry, not to be rude but the does not look like my son" the daughter in law lifted up her skirt and replied "not to be rude but this is a vagina, not a effing photocopier"
 

43mod

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811 long time ago. Bought razor blades and grabbed straws. Backed out of parking spot right into side of a brand new supra. Barden bumper imprint for sure. Giy gets out and looks at car. Says eff it and drives off 😊. Daved us both a DUO and probably a felony for me. Lucky better than good at times. Glad those days are gone. Dont tell my kids please
 
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