Things I never thought I would say.

dhjeepgeek

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I been saying for year I should write a joke book on things I thought I would never say. So if you all have any to add , go for it.
The obvious.. I DO.
Is that a goat in my kitchen.
No.
I've had enough beer.
Those are big enough.
etc....
 

Offspring

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Daughter comes home from school, the first week as a freshman. Suddenly there was a Junior sniffing around her/the house. I told her he was too old for her, she didn't like that, and felt they were soul-mates. Suddenly it came to me...I struck her a deal, I would let her go to a school dance with him AFTER she went to my son's class ( he was in 7th grade), and invited any boy in his class to go to a dance first...she exploded into a rage. I told her the age difference between her and my son was the same as her and Casanova. I felt like I really made a point and proved it. Until a few weeks later it was some other dude showing up. Oh well. I really scared myself that day because I could actually see my dad doing the same thing under the same circumstances. And for the record, I am proud to say I am honored to posses any traits my dad has.
 
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