Wise Words

Kritter

Krittro Campbell
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I read this in the Onion. I think this guy is on to something...


By Stephen Gerald
When you get to reach a certain age, you start to take stock of your life.
On the whole, I'm pretty happy with the way things have turned out for me.
I've got a fantastic wife, two wonderful children, and a successful
landscaping business. Yep, all in all, I'd say I've had it pretty good.

Yet I do have one not-so-small regret. You see, in my 67 years, I spent a
lot of time busting my hump—and for what? If I could do it all over again, I
would definitely omit all the hard work.

They say youth is wasted on the young, and it's true. The young don't have
the wisdom and experience to know what's important. If I could go back in
time knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have studied so hard or wasted all
that time listening to my parents. I would use my hard-won hindsight to
weasel out of the character-building chores and homework that were a
constant in my younger days. But, unfortunately, I don't have a time
machine. All that terrific goofing-off time in my teens and twenties, when I
could have been stoned or drunk or catatonic in front of the TV, is gone
forever. And why? Because I had my nose buried deep in some book, or was
helping Dad paint the house. What a colossal waste.

You know what else galls me? For some reason, I got it into my head that
owning my own business would be the best thing in the world. Sure, it's nice
now that I'm an established name in the landscaping business. But for the
first 20 years, it was nothing but back-breaking work getting that
sonofabitch off the ground. Can I honestly say that my life is enriched
because I'm my own boss, when I could have spent that time playing
basketball or—better yet—watching people play basketball on TV? I don't
think so. It's not like I'm so wealthy that people wait on me hand and foot.
I lead a comfortable life, but a lot of people live comfortable lives
without having to spend 15 years hauling rolls of sod.

Then there's the home I designed and built with my own two hands. This took
four years of grueling labor while I was working full-time. And did I do it
faster or cheaper or better than professional builders could have? Not
really. Sure, there were moments of pride, like watching my two sons run up
and down the stairs I built from a mighty oak I cut down myself. But when I
look at the house most days, I just see sore hands, an aching back, and an
endless list of repairs. Next time I need to do some major construction, I'm
giving some Mexican day laborers a check and catching the first plane to
Hawaii.

As for my family life, I'm lucky to have a wife like Cheryl, who at 62 is
still a beautiful woman, both inside and out. Still, maintaining a marriage
is incredibly difficult, especially for 38 long years. When I weigh all the
compromise and the trust-building, the nurturing and the moral support, I'm
not sure it's been entirely worth it. Yes, I have a soulmate and a
confidant, but, really, when comes down to it, I just want to be having sex
on a regular basis. Was it worth all the endless nights ironing out knotty
relationship issues and keeping her happy with gifts and affection just for
some sex, when a good hooker would have done the trick? I'd say no.

Then there are the kids. What was I thinking? Okay, so seeing your newborn
child for the first time is a thrill that can't be equaled, I'll grant you
that. But that moment of joy is dwarfed by all the headaches and hassles
that come later: the smelly diapers, the expensive orthodontics, the
horribly awkward father-son talks. Every phase of child-rearing presents a
new parenting challenge: the terrible twos, the sullen tweens, the torrid
teens. And after all the struggle and the tears, what's the great reward? A
severely hobbled social life and a popsicle-stick birdhouse on Father's Day.
Oh, and the joy of having someone call you "Daddy." Whoopee.

Yep, if you don't stop and take stock of your life, it'll all slip away from
you. But even though I know I'll never get back all those years I foolishly
squandered on my friendships, family, and business, I've still got some time
left. And I'm determined to use that time well. After all, it's never too
late to never lift another goddamn finger.


Kris
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.barneysprecision.com/fabproducts.htm> Fab Parts</A>
 

cleartoy

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That was really deep Kritter.

94 Toyota stdcab 2x4
99 Yamaha YZ250

Got Sand??
 

sweetdevil

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I'm kinda lost. Is there something I'm missing here? I see his thoughts as very pessimistic. I appreciate every minute I spend "busting my hump" because I know what it will bring me in return.
Am I having a blonde moment here and not reading his words correctly? Is he really appreciative of the hard times because of the good times it has brought him? To me, it keeps saying over and over "It wasn't worth it" Or maybe I'm just too young to understand???

<font color=red>Heaven Doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over</font color=red>
 

Waldo

Safehouse
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Why doesn't that guy just shoot himself?

 

hoeker

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pure sarcasm

Some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them.
 

CanyonMan

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I laughed while reading ti cause I know I mirror some of those sentiments but in the end it was always worth it and I don't regret the majority of my mistakes. Plus, me and sarcasm go hand in hand.

Lyrch
 

sweetdevil

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I think I took I interpreted it differently than others. I think it has to do with where you are in life.
I'm young, working hard and playing even harder. For the most part, I am happy and I have no regrets, all of my hard work has brought me $$, which I turn into fun. All the relationships I've put trust building, loyalty and compromise into have brought me close friends and people who care about me. I get satisfaction in "busting my hump" and seeing projects finished, because there have been very few things that have not ended well for me, and made me smile, or become a better person...
If it was purely sarcasm, then I apoligize for reading too deeply into it, but I wanted to know what everyone else thought.

<font color=red>Heaven Doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over</font color=red>
 

hoeker

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sweets, i think you got the authors point, he is saying the same as you in a very sarcastic way. he is saying how happy he is with his accomplishments even though he had to bust it his whole life to meet those goals. the sarcasm comes in when he says he could do it with out working hard, because others do. i think this fits the RDC board and readers very well, i don't know any of you, but i bet as a group we are far more likely to be out working, and busting it, than many people in this country. we bust our butts so we can race, play in the dez, or where ever you go wheeling with friends. we bust out butts so our buddy can get his truck put back together and join us wheeling for the weekend, because if he isn't along, it's just not as much fun.

i always hated interpreting poems and crap like that in school, but think kris found a good one here. maybe i'm still as bad as that D i got in english lit, but that's my $.02 now back to work, 29 days to race day and my truck looks like i need 60, but it will be worth it when that thing gets me my first checkers for the year.

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work hard, play hard, and in all things be the best you can at what you choose to do.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them.
 

Jkrell

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good post kris, puts things into perspective a week from graduation day.

Jon
 

Crashbig

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Yeah I would say it fits this board very well, we all "bust our humps" on our trucks and in the end have something we can look back on and appricate and say hey I did that, besides thats the way I was raised, why pay someone to do what you can do yourself, more satisfaction in the end.

The higher you jump the harder you crash so crashbig
 

michael_loomis

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i dont know .... i take it more as " i busted my ass so i could be set in life and play , but by the time i got there , i realized im too old to play , and no little hotties want me ! "
 

Dave_G

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Wow. It's a good thing this unmotivated slob wasn't in charge of developing weapons systems for the military or we'd all be facing Meca four times a day and praying to Alah.

What a maroon.

Dave

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"
 

martininsocal

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I kinda agree Dave. Many are saying sarcastic, but I think it is more cynical. If he doesn't feel he can look back on his life and his accomplishments and say "I did that" without some pride and confort, he did something wrong. I tell this to people all the time, get a jod you will be HAPPY in . My dad always said work hard to get money to buy things to make you happy, but all he did was work and never enjoyed the things he bought. Money can help reach happiness, but money is not happiness. You have to really look at yourself from the inside to decide what is really best for 30 years down the line.

If your gonna go, go BIG
 

slimjim

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"the onion" is a political and social satire website. it is thoroughly laden with sarcasm. it takes a special type of mind-set to appreciate most of the work you find on "the onion". it is all in good fun though. personally, i think most of it is so funny i can barely stand it. but i am special. very special. my mom told me so.

put on your seatbelt...
 

01_el_tiburon

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theres an old lebanese saying that goes

"God, if i cant work at what i like, please let me like what i work in"

insightful translation, but it has a lot of meaning


el tiburon

"if something can go wrong, it'll probably will"
pinche murphy
 

orvacian

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What an as-hole, I hate to hear people complain about their lives. He has no one but himself to blame. I can't believe how self-centered he is. Especially the part when he talks about his wife and children being a worthless burden and he should have just got a hooker. I guess making a good life for your wife and children is just a big waste of time, huh? Mabye if this guy had a prerunner or race vehicle he would have had more fun with his miserable life!

Hey Kritter, which part was the "wise words" you were referring to?
 
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